i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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