you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Still dying that you shit outside
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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