office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
