WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
