Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
