is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
