I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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