They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
