omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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