As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
