this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
