No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he thought i was a dude.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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