fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just puked most of my soul out..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
