Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Is it penis luge time yet?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
my poor anus
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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