found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's shark week go big or go home
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
