just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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