how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
