so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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