I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
They have beer where we have blood.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
