I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
