YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
