Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
