My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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