just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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