So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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