so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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