The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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