This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
