she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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