did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Drunk walkin through police station. America
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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