honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
