My hand turned me down
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Operation Purity has been aborted
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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