She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
