The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize