At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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