you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
