p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
