I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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