Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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