It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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