we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
