Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
