I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
