Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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