P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize