oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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