Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i think i just lost a toe
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
