I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
