# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
