Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize