He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize