What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize
