I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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