i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
