y did u give ur computer a hand job?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
false alarm, still single
Randomize
