I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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