Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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