I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
that is very illegal...i love you.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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