Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
