he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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