I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't think brook has ever known best
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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