And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
