wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
