Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
