the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
