i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
