So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
