I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
