That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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