Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
